What associations do the words performative spirituality bring up for you? A quiet kind of exhaustion that doesn’t come from doing too much—but from doing all the right things and still feeling disconnected?
You meditate. You journal. You read the books. You follow the practices.
You try to be disciplined, devoted, consistent.
And yet… something feels flat. Mechanical. Distant. Like a part of your soul has been dead and buried for a very long time.
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Why doesn’t my spiritual practice feel alive?”— you may have become stuck in what I call performative spirituality.
Not as a personal failure. Not as something to be ashamed of.
But as a stage many sincere, thoughtful, spiritually mature people pass through.
Because at some point, spirituality can quietly become something we perform… rather than something we live.
And this is where the conversation about the return of the divine feminine begins.
What Is Performative Spirituality?
Performative spirituality often looks (and feels) like devotion. At least, on the surface.
It’s structured. Intentional. Sometimes even beautiful.
But underneath, it is driven by subtle questions like:
- Am I doing this right? (You can include here: Do I need to pray more often? am I washing the right way? am I eating the right thing? should I do this every day? should I do this twice a day? do I need to buy more crystals? do I need to take another course?..)
- What practice will make me more evolved? Better?
- What do I need to do to feel closer to God, truth, or myself?
It turns spirituality into a transaction:
If I do this → I will become that.
If I pray more often, I will get rewards. If I do the right thing, I will go to paradise. If I eat right, I will be healthy.
In many ways, this reflects a linear, yang/masculine approach towards spirituality:
- Goal-oriented
- Upward-moving (always going “higher”)
- Rooted in discipline, structure, and effort
- Centered in the mind—understanding, analyzing, improving
There is nothing inherently wrong with this. In fact, structure is crucial and deeply supportive. We know to plant our gardens in spring, not in the middle of January frosts, or in August heat. Discipline grows our inner gardens. Practices ground us. Devotion shapes us.
But when this approach becomes dominant — when spirituality lives almost entirely in the mind — it can begin to feel like something we are managing… rather than embodying.
And this is where we begin to feel stuck.
The Missing Piece: The Divine Feminine
The divine feminine is material, embodied, cyclical and non-linear. The divine feminine is not a rejection of structure, it is rather an opening into a different perspective. One that only the feminine understands
Where the masculine seeks clarity, the feminine welcomes mystery.
Where the masculine moves upward, the feminine moves inward. Moves in spirals and circles. Dies and is reborn.
Where the masculine organizes, the feminine feels.
The feminine rejects the concepts of unlimited growth and constant expansion. Just like the Earth knows to kill her plants in winter, so the feminine knows that every project, every practice, must die. In order to be reborn as something new.
The feminine aspect of spirituality is:
- Cyclical rather than linear
- Embodied rather than purely mental
- Relational rather than hierarchical
- Experiential rather than performative
It does not ask, “What should I do next?”
It asks, “What is alive in me right now?”
And this shift can change everything for you when you feel stuck.
Because the moment spirituality becomes something you embody and experience it begins to come alive again.
From Performance to Presence
When we begin reconnecting with the divine feminine, spirituality stops being about optimization and starts becoming about presence.
You may notice a shift from:
Before (performative spirituality):
- Following practices out of obligation
- Measuring your “progress”
- Seeking validation—internal or external
- Feeling like you’re never quite doing enough
After (embodied spirituality):
- Listening inward before acting
- Letting live and circumstances move naturally, without resistance
- Trusting your own rhythm and capacity
- Feeling moments of genuine connection, even in stillness
This doesn’t mean you stop practicing or constantly seek to feel and experience. No valid spiritual path is supposed to make you “feel good” 100% of the time.
It means your practices stop being something you perform — and start becoming something you enter.
Want to know more? → Watch this conversation with Meg Calvin where we talk about performative spirituality, the legacy of Mary Magdalene, and the return of the Divine Feminine:
The Role of the Body: Where the Feminine Lives
At the heart of this return of the divine feminine is something both simple and radical:
The divine feminine lives in the body.
And for many women, this is exactly where the disconnection is rooted.
We are taught—directly or indirectly—that spirituality is something that happens “above”:
- In the mind
- In belief systems
- In elevated states of consciousness
- In 5D, 7D, 9D, with ascended masters, high beings, angels,…
So when things become overwhelming, confusing, or painful… we often disconnect from the body altogether.
We move into thinking. Analyzing. Figuring it out. Reading more
For many, this is not just a habit—it is a trauma response.
When the body has not felt safe, we learn to live from the neck up.
And over time, spirituality becomes just another way to disconnect.
This has certainly been my personal experience for many years, if not decades. I was very good at going “up”. And terrible at being in the body. Accepting the reality of life as spiritual. Accepting the body as spiritual.
But the cost is subtle and profound:
We may become knowledgeable… but not connected.
Devoted… but not alive.
Disciplined… but not at home in ourselves.
Embodied Spirituality: A Different Way of Knowing
When spirituality becomes embodied, your primary source of guidance begins to shift.
Not away from wisdom or teaching — but deeper into your own lived experience. You are not so much interested in absolutes anymore.
You begin to notice:
- How your body responds to certain practices
- Whether something expands you or contracts you
- Where there is tension, numbness, or openness
- What feels true—not just what sounds right
This is what embodied spirituality looks like.
It is not less intelligent.
It is not less serious.
It is simply more integrated.
And often, it begins with very small shifts:
- Writing not to produce something—but to feel something
- Sitting in silence not to achieve stillness—but to listen
- Letting emotion move through the body instead of managing it
These are not dramatic practices.
But they are deeply transformative—because they bring spirituality back into lived experience.
Healing Through Divine Feminine Energy
One of the most powerful aspects of reconnecting with the divine feminine is its role in healing.
Especially for those who feel stuck in cycles of overthinking, over-performing, or striving spiritually.
The feminine aspect of the Divine does not heal by fixing.
She heals by allowing.
By making space for what has been avoided, suppressed, or intellectualized.
This can look like:
- Letting yourself feel grief instead of analyzing it
- Acknowledging anger without immediately trying to “transcend” it
- Recognizing where you have been performing spirituality to feel safe, accepted, or “good”
Over time, this kind of healing leads to a different kind of connection—one that is not dependent on doing things “right,” but on being present to what is true.
How to Connect to the Divine Feminine
For many, the question becomes:
Where do I even begin?
You begin by slowing down enough to listen.
Not to what you should do—but to what is already happening within you.
A few gentle entry points:
1. Return to the Body
Notice your breath. Your posture. Your sensations. The feel of the clothes against your skin. The water against your face. The way you look in the mirror.
Not to change anything. Just to be.
2. Write Without an Agenda
Let your thoughts and feelings move onto the page without structure or outcome.
3. Question Your Motivation
Before any practice, ask:
Am I doing this to connect—or to prove something?
4. Create Space for Feeling
Instead of immediately reframing or fixing emotions, allow them to exist.
5. Honor Your Rhythm
Not every day will look the same. The feminine is cyclical—not consistent in a rigid sense. Honor it. Do not resist tiredness. Do not resist excitement.
There are no techniques to master.
Reclaiming Inner Authority
One of the deeper shifts that happens when reconnecting with the divine feminine is a return to inner authority.
Not in a rebellious or dismissive way—but in a grounded, self-trusting way.
Historically, many spiritual traditions have emphasized external authority:
- Sacred texts
- Institutions
- Teachers and hierarchies
These are extremely valuable, and I encourage you to immerse in them daily. But without balance, they can also lead to disconnection from our own inner knowing.
And our time is the time of the return of the Divine Feminine. Which means our time, like no other time in thousands of years, calls for remembrance of our own inner authority.
The feminine restores that balance.
It reminds us that:
- Insight can arise from within
- The body carries wisdom
- Spiritual truth is meant to be experienced, not just analyzed.
The return of the feminine embraces tradition. But she engages with it from a place of wholeness, rather than dependency.
We Need Both
It’s tempting to frame this as a choice:
Masculine or feminine. Structure or flow. Discipline or intuition.
But in reality, we need both.
The masculine offers:
- Direction
- Commitment
- Clarity
The feminine offers:
- Depth
- Connection
- Aliveness
Without the masculine, spirituality can become ungrounded.
Without the feminine, it can become rigid and lifeless.
The invitation is not to abandon one—but to integrate both.
A Living Spirituality
If you find yourself feeling disconnected, despite doing all the “right” things — maybe you don’t need to try harder. Or look for what is wrong with you.
It may be a sign that something deeper is asking to be included.
Your body.
Your emotions.
Your soul.
The parts of you that don’t fit neatly into structure or language.
The return of the divine feminine is not loud or forceful.
It is quiet. Subtle. Persistent.
It asks you to slow down. To feel. To listen.
And in doing so, it gently dissolves performative spirituality—not by rejecting it, but by softening it into something more human, more embodied, more alive.
So perhaps the question is not:
What should I do next in my spiritual practice?
But rather:
What is already here… waiting to be felt?
