Shame is toxic. Shame acts like a lens that distorts our view of reality, but most importantly, ourselves. It prevents us from receiving what we deserve, thinking we are unworthy, unwanted, miserable, small and insignificant. Shame makes us question the motives of those who stretch out their hand in love or friendship.
If someone is nice to us, shame will make us wonder “What does she really want from me?” “Surely he doesn’t mean it?” Shame will make us believe that job offer is too good to be true, and that meeting not worth getting out of the house for. A good person will seem boring and unattractive, and a good life dull and uninteresting.
Shame makes us push away the beauty, love and admiration that we deserve and instead draws us back, over and over again, into the pit of humiliation and despair. Ironically, these are the very same emotions that we were so desperately trying to protect ourselves from.
Everyone who has gone through some form of abuse — be it sexual, emotional, physical, or spiritual — carries shame in their energy field. This shame is not merely a toxic distortion, but a distortion that does not belong to the victim. Healing shame means reversing the flow, and placing shame where it belongs.
How can this be? What does it mean that the shame we carry does not even belong to us?
As human beings we are all born with an innate sense of right and wrong. Atheists may call it morals, believers Divine guidance, but even those who say they reject the Divine, sometimes accuse God of injustice. The reason for this is even if we don’t believe in Divinity, we have the capacity to distinguish right from wrong. Even the worst criminals have it. indeed, the clarity of this capacity gets obstructed and broken in our 3D world.
But there is a part, however small, deeply buried, however subconscious, within every abuser that knows right from wrong. If they could feel the consequences of their actions, their behavior may have been modified.
Without going into psychological dynamics of the many forms of abuse, what happens on the energetic level, however, is that the shame of the perpetrator gets pushed onto the victim. The innocent are bearing the burden of guilt. It is almost as if light is attempting to absorb darkness, and the greater the innocence, the greater the willingness to absorb shame.
Healing takes on a very individual path. There is no cookie-cutter solution to “clearing shame in 21 days.” But as we persist on the path of healing our wounds and reclaiming our innocence, we clear and release the shame. By doing that, we restore it where it belongs, giving the offender the opportunity to finally face their shame. There is no need for any physical interaction for this process, but by healing ourselves we are opening the flow of both justice and grace, whatever form it may take in any given situation.
Yes, clearing shame includes radical forgiveness — but this forgiveness has to start with ourselves. Healing abuse goes in spirals, restoring layer after layer of lost innocence, expanding the concentric circles of healing further and further, to ourselves, our ancestors, and the world at large. As we stop absorbing the energy of others, they, too, face their own awakening and healing.
When we heal, we release shame to where it belongs — our offenders. We take our power back. Then we can start opening our heart to love and abundance that we have always desired. There is no need to carry around the baggage that belongs to someone else.
In my healing sessions, I use energy psychotherapy and work with higher-dimensional beings to clear the energies of shame. If you have been sexually abused, I recommend seeking help of a professional psychotherapist specializing in somatic processing and trauma release, in addition to energy work.