Are twin flames real, or are they just an unhealthy obsession? And what are twin flames anyway? Divine counterparts chosen for us by the Universe, or primarily a spiritual catalyst to get us to awaken?
When I started my spiritual journey 10 years ago, I first heard about twin flames from a psychic healer whom I contacted to figure out what was going on in my life. It was new to me, reaching out to a psychic — but everything else I had learned up to then didn’t provide the answers I was looking for. If it is an obsession, then why am I so obsessed? What is the root of it? If it is a true soul connection, then why is the guy running away?
The healer guided me to a twin flame couple in Canada who pointed out this connection was not a traditional “relationship,” at least, not in this point in time, but was intended as a spiritual activation. I could not have it on my terms. I had to evolve. This was all very new, because I was left in a suspended state of maintaining a connection that didn’t have a definition, while at the same time trying to heal all the aspects of me that were hurting and demanding a resolution.
But something rang true. I was willing to do the work.
The Path of Spiritual Activation
When we meet our twin flame, our soul gets activated at the highest levels, which inevitably means that light shines into the depths of our darkness. It is like stepping into a dark room and switching on the light. In the dark, you can’t see whether the room is dirty or clean, messy or organized, whether the furniture is new or old — but once the light is on, everything is in the open. And to keep the metaphor going, the room may be so messy, you may feel like running away…
This is what a true soul connection often feels like, whether we call it twin flame, or give it any other label. The light comes in, and no matter how evolved we think we are, how loving or balanced or spiritual we think we are, — just doesn’t cut it anymore.
Shining light on darkness is never easy or pleasant — and yet it is the core of every spiritual path. A true spiritual journey takes us way beyond twin flames and romance, and any other concept we may have created for ourselves.
But the ideas and hopes of love and romance are the ones with the strongest pull for us humans — be they good or distorted. Deep inside us, there is a wounded inner child demanding love, believing the Universe owes us a perfect partner — despite the fact that the perfect partner we are so set on getting doesn’t want to have anything to do with us.
Isn’t that a paradox.
From Obsession to Stability: Twin Flames as a Journey of Healing
Ten years later, the “twin flame” community has become a fertile ground for all kinds of distortions, obsessions, false hopes, ego trips and manipulation — rather than spiritual growth. We still want the One. On our terms.
But we don’t want the good guy or girl! No, we demand to be with the abuser, the one who left us, who doesn’t answer our texts and calls, who is in a relationship, who told us multiple times that we have no future together.
I mean, we can’t seriously believe that the person is going to change just because our egos got triggered? Or put up with abuse because deep down we feel we don’t deserve anything better?
The twin flame obsession is both a sign of deep wounding that we are called to heal — and the sign this path has been divinely orchestrated for us. The obsession is like a hook, a glue, that forces us to face our issues no matter what. We want to run away but we can’t.
The point of the obsession is not to be together. It is irrelevant at this stage — but usually impossible. It is just the mind and the ego trying to bypass the pain, and create an escape route. The ego says: If only we were together, everything would be perfect! So rather than set out on my true path, I will spend the next 30 years pining for my true love, and feeling miserable!
There is only one real option, although we’d much rather be dragged into it kicking and screaming. And that option is to surrender to the process. To mercilessly look at every issue that comes up, and give it up, heal it, transmute it.
Not because we want to be with someone who left us or doesn’t want to talk to us, but because we are setting out on the new stage of our spiritual evolution. The stage of becoming our true selves. The stage of spiritual mastery.
And on the way up to this level no lasting joy is possible without letting go and surrender. Why? Because to reach inner and outer Union, which is an invitation from the Divine, we need to surrender the little I, the ego. For some, this process happens through substance addiction and the 12-step path, for some through relationships and codependency issues, for some through the deep spiritual activation of the twin flame path, but the journey is the same. And it is a journey towards happiness, not misery.
We just need to heal the parts of us that are inclined to kick and scream on the way to paradise, rather than be happy about it 🙂
