Let me start by stating the obvious: wherever there is change, there is resistance. Resistance to change is a norm, not an exception, on the path of healing and spiritual evolution. We just need to learn to dance with it.
Here is a scenario that most of us are all too familiar with: you decide to implement some new and positive changes in your life, say, go to the gym three times a week, or meditate every morning. After the first couple of days of initial enthusiasm, you oversleep, and would much rather sit and stare into space then do anything at all. You really enjoyed exercise, and meditation made you feel amazing, yet you can’t bring yourself to do it. What is going on?
Spiritual change encounters even more ferocious resistance. Ever tried changing religion or belief system, and watched your friends and family go completely off hooks with anger and jealousy? Accusing you of failing them, lashing out on you and making your life as miserable as possible? And even if you kept your transformation to yourself, you have certainly gone through endless bouts of self-sabotage, depression, grief, financial problems, and profound sense of lostness. In this context, these are all signs of resistance.
Why does it happen? Where does this resistance come from?
There are profound biological and evolutionary reasons that underly resistance. Our neurobiology and energy systems are built for efficiency, so that we can spend minimum effort while getting maximum results. Once we learn a new behavior, be it new dance steps or driving, we can do it on autopilot, without conscious awareness. But this also means that our system will tend to go back to default when a change is being introduced. It’s simply much more energy efficient to go on autopilot!
The spiritual element of resistance to change goes much deeper. Yes, our energy systems are also inert, and will revert to default without constant repetition and reinforcement of new energetic structures. But there are also underlying soul-level issues that make us resist.
Most advanced souls have had many lifetimes where they were persecuted or killed for practicing magic, healing, or simply for being different. When they are trying to step into their power, learn a new practice, learn anything that allows them to grow or expand, their soul-level inner protector goes into overdrive. The very thing their soul is longing for becomes their greatest struggle.
Resistance is your litmus test. It tells you that you are on the right path. You have now met some parts of yourself that have come up to the surface to protest — and you allow them to voice their objections, but go on anyway.
Following are some tips on managing resistance to change:
1. Accept it As a Given
Be prepared that your system will resist, and the more profound the change, the stronger the resistance will be. Recognize that there is nothing wrong with you, that you are not lazy, useless, attacked by dark energies or have bad luck. In fact, meeting inner resistance is perfectly normal, it shows that your body and energy system is working just as it should.
2. Treat Your Resistance as You Would a Sulking Child, or a Rebellious Teenager
Don’t fight or escalate, but rather try to reach a consensus, or come up with a distraction. For example, if you made a choice to go to the gym but feel tired, tell your inner protector that you will exercise now for just a little while, but afterwards you will lie down and have a nap (curl up on your sofa and watch Netflix, etc.)
Or, if your mind refuses to meditate, focus on listening to the sounds around you, rather than trying to cultivate silence. “I know you like to be busy, so let’s just listen very attentively to every sound for 5 minutes, ok?”
3. Avoid the State of Being at War with Yourself
If we continue following the concept of multiple sub-personalities that exist within our being, it is helpful to bring up the idea of loving our neighbors and even our enemies.
Your first neighbor (and enemy!) is yourself. Perhaps, rather than waging a war, you can recognize that the resisting part of you is simply not mature enough to make decisions. In any case, it doesn’t help to blame yourself for lack of willpower, or go around feeling guilty for not being able to finish what you started. Frankly, I don’t believe in willpower.
4. What is Your Motivation?
I do, however, believe in motivation. Everyone has willpower when they are motivated. It may be helpful to write a list of what motivates you before a big undertaking, such as enrolling in a new education course, or completely revamping your business. And then be prepared to add to that list, and even to rewrite it completely on a regular basis. Your motivation changes with you.
5. Find a Group or Community to Support You
None of us holds the truth, the power, the knowledge all by ourselves. We are an expression of the Divine only in community with all beings, visible and invisible, animate and inanimate. All lasting change and transformation happens within the context of a community and support network.
How you utilize this depends on your personality. Often there is a lot of trial and error when it comes to finding the right support system — but it really does help. And I know from experience that you are not as special or unique as you think, there are probably hundreds (and most likely thousands) of people that are going through the same thing that you are, no matter how unheard of. You can find them anywhere from dance classes to meditation groups, magic schools and healing circles.
6. Accept Soul-Level Healing
Deep inner resistance can often point to soul-level issues, such as fear of power, especially when it comes to spiritual gifts. This soul-level resistance can be a gift and a blessing in disguise, because it will lead you to what your soul has been trying to heal for lifetimes.
Let’s say you were a powerful healer and transformer of energies many lifetimes ago, but were burned at the stake for heresy. The deepest passion of your soul is still in the realm of the magical, the sacred, the occult — but whenever you try to learn a new modality or practice a new skill, something prevents you. You just can’t seem to force yourself. The soul-level fear masks as procrastination, illness or lack of focus. This is not to be confused with mental-level blocks, when our ego is trying to approach the spiritual through the rational mind and inevitably fails.
If you have soul-level issues (and if you are an advanced soul, you most likely do!), you may need to work with a spiritual healer before you are able to move forward. Do remember that personality-level resistance will still need work. In other words, it is very unlikely that you will joyfully jump up to meditate at 4 am after a past life regression if you had been waking up at 11 for the past 10 years. It may happen every now and then, but most likely you will need to build up stamina and learn to dance with your resistance over time.
