What does twin flame obsession often look like for a woman? It’s about love, yes, and sometimes looking for black magic curses against you, but what else? If only I could heal enough… If only I could lose weight… Oh I have to love myself more, I know… Have you had enough of healing and clearing and waiting for an estranged Twin Flame to come and rescue you and finally make you whole?
For my own part, I used to believe for most of my life that my call as a woman was to be love. To give and receive love, and to embody Divine love. And twin flame love, obsession or not, is a mirror of divine love, and it will mirror what we think of love, what we think of God, and whether we believe the Divine loves us (or we love him/her/it).
But when we get to Divine love, this is where it gets tricky. My power and light were given to me by God, but what do I do with them? And does embodying Divine love mean being good, nice, etc.? A doormat, basically. All of these things that you tried already, and still didn’t get what you want?
And is getting what you want is it a bad thing — or a good thing? Where is that boundary, between will in the service of a higher purpose or will as an obsession with power? How come nice girls have become doormats and bad girls have what they need? What did we miss?
The Feminine and Personal Power
I was never a good girl. I knew how to stay out of trouble, but I always had a wild side that guided me to make many unconventional choices, and to create (and re-create) a life for myself that most people wouldn’t have even dared to dream of.
But I also believed that this wild side somehow made me bad. That I had to surrender it in order to be of the light, in order to be allowed to receive light. If someone had told me that a woman has Divine nature in and of herself — that a woman does not receive light, love and pleasure from Source, but that she herself is the Source — I would have found it heretical. Now there is a fine line to walk here, I agree.
But here is the thing…
When I first met my Twin Flame, I instinctively worshipped him, my Twin, my beloved. He was more precious to me than my own soul and my relationship with God. Oh yes, he was, otherwise my actions would have been much different.
So I couldn’t believe in my own power and yet believed in his. I bestowed on him the power to transform all of my convictions with a sleight of hand…
No wonder I subsequently would get angry with everyone who said they were “gods” (including my own twin)! Who was I really angry with? After all, I was the one who believed my twin would make everything right and teach me how to live.
After all, I was the one who believed my twin would make everything right and teach me how to live.
I didn’t know about Twin Flames at the time, but I was beginning to remember. The memories were coming back quickly. I would find myself in a women’s Kabbalah study group (a real one, in the old city of Jerusalem), and begin remembering what I had read about twin souls in my teens. As I was listening to expositions of ancient texts, I began understanding them. Just a year ago I would have discarded all of it as rubbish!
Once I found a book on chakras on my hostel table while traveling through the desert. It was all new to me, but I skimmed through it and realized something had opened within me the moment I had met my Twin. Oh. What do I do with it now, though?
Twin Flame Obsession, or Throwing Our Power Away – with Gusto
And I would sit and wait for him, on whom my happiness rested. Even if he was in another country, even if he was with another woman, even if he couldn’t care less about what I did or where I was — it didn’t matter. On a certain level, he was my light, my God, my savior. Logically, no of course not, but on the level of embodied knowledge, the only real knowledge —I would give up everything and wait for him.
Because I had no light, no love without him. Because I was powerless by myself.
Because I had known since early teens that my spiritual path as a woman was to wait for my Savior — my Anointed One — who would come and tell me how fallen and dark I was by myself. And only with Him, only in His light, would I myself become light, would I find a purpose. It is by surrender to Him that I would discover my womanhood.
And I think I was not alone.
Could this be why many Twin Flame women, if their Twin is not available to them, are saying — that’s ok, I shall suffer yet a little more, I will cry more, I will keep clearing, I will keep loving and accepting myself? Because deep inside I know that I am not good enough yet, not good enough to be in Union, to be with Him. And so we keep clearing, and meditating, and healing, but essentially things remain as they are.
We connect with our Twin — and he runs away.
And twin flame obsession is really this game of hide and seek that we play with ourselves, and ourselves only. We don’t even get reach the higher levels, where one can talk of Union. We are just too busy giving our power away.
Twin flame obsession is really this game of hide and seek that we play with ourselves
No Man Can Carry the Burden of Being our God
Many Twin Flame women feel that even if their man is highly spiritual, he cannot handle their power. Often he chooses to focus on only one side of them. He may choose to keep them as a comfortable mother figure — an angel from afar. But he is not able to deal with their darkness and depth. Because no man can.
No man can carry that burden — being our God.
But in the throes of twin flame obsession, the women often miss that point. And twin flame men turn into little boys, weak, superficial, immature, lacking spirit and stamina. They run away from the power of their women. Their women, in turn, lose all respect for them. Enough with the twin flame obsession! I want back to reality!
But there is deeper work to be done.
Many women around the world are familiar with a woman’s role of being an extension of her man. It is somewhat ironic, since all human beings originate in the womb of a woman. Yet here we are.
We want to be his muse, his inspiration, his living doll. He is the one who wakes up the woman inside us. Without him, we don’t feel our womanhood. Without him, we wander around the house with unkempt hair, eating cookies or drinking wine from the bottle.
The Union of Lilith and Eve
There are many writers, guides and philosophers who have been teaching that in the beginning, one whole soul was split into two halves. Because of this, we are destined forever to roam the universe in search of the other half. The one. The one who will complete us and make us whole.
But wait a minute! In the beginning, there were no halves, there was no duality, there were no polarities. This is the nature of our manifest world. In the beginning, as the famous opening passage of the book of Genesis says, the earth was void and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the spirit of God was hovering over the waters…
Once, a Twin Flame woman had no half to look for, her soul was powerful in and of herself.
This is why polarity and separation entered the world, to teach on an individual level that these halves already exist within us. And that the path is to be whole, not to be split into half. What we experience as separation and duality is what the Bible called eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
(c) Paintings Collection; Supplied by The Public Catalogue Foundation
Some traditions in Jewish mysticism explain the two seemingly contradictory creation myths in Genesis as creation of two different women — Lilith and Eve.
Lilith was created first, chronologically. She was Adam’s equal. Genesis 1:27 says, “male and female he created them in his own image”. However, Lilith she was disobedient to Adam, left Paradise and eventually became a demonic creature.
Then, Eve was then created out of Adam’s rib, making Adam exclaim happily: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23).
Other sources, including medieval Kabbalists see the two different stories as descriptive of a temporary collapse of the Divine Feminine, from Adam’s equal to a tiny dot that draws all light from him. Both interpretations, however, describe the same process of “descent” of the feminine. And if you are in the throes of twin flame obsession, you have most likely taken it upon yourself to heal and integrate this temporary descent.
Ultimately, your power is not dependent on Twin Flames, husbands, laws, beliefs or templates. You are both darkness and light, you are the ruler and the destroyer of rules, you are desire and the one who releases from desire, you are Divine Light and Darkness at the same time. Why? Because of the seed of the Divine that you carry within you.
The Divine is all that. The one who puts to shame, and the one who releases from shame. The birther and the destroyer. The lover, healer, and the harsh ruler.
Our collective feminine work is embracing our power. Not “we’re in 5D”. The real raw power. If men don’t feel like gods around us, it’s because they don’t see themselves as men anymore. Because we have stopped being wild, we have stopped living in our power. We are living the way we “should”, like a household appliance.
And with us being so convenient, our Twin Flame has no reason to embark on a spiritual path. Why bother?
When we don’t stand in our power, others don’t see it within us, either. Your beloved will not remember can’t remember his goddess if she forgot her own divinity. Our Twin Flames will join us for one reason only — to share our pleasure and our power. Then they will become sovereign in their own.
Are you in a life-changing soul relationship?
Twin Flame Union is more than just a relationship — it is a return to Oneness, to Unity consciousness, while living in the world of separation. Simply being in a romantic relationship is not Union. Living with someone you love is not Union. Union is a state of consciousness of a self-realized being.
All of us have polarities within our own selves. We have our inner male and our ego. We have our inner female, our Shakti, fully within ourselves. What does our life situation tell us about the dance of our inner twins? Are our inner male and female in Union?
Perhaps what we always believed in was not God, but the limitations of religion and morals, which convinced us that we do not exist. That our power never was.
And if we stop being Lilith and become the obedient Eve, our men are not Divine, they are dead and empty little boys who stubbornly refuse to be resurrected…
