Are Twin Flames Meant to Be Together?

Are twin flames meant to be together? If we are not together, does it mean we are not twin flames? Can twin flames be mean to each other? If we are meant to be together, why not now? Will we ever be together?.. and a million other similar questions about twin flames.

Twin flames are everywhere. You will find courses on how to manifest a twin flame, articles telling you that twin flames are the one perfect love all of us have been dreaming of since the dawn of humanity, countless books and stories, but above all, millions of people looking for their “one true love.”

Chat GPT had the following to say on the issue:

“The concept of twin flames is a belief system that is not scientifically proven. It is often associated with the idea that certain individuals are destined to be together in a romantic or spiritual sense. However, it is important to remember that everyone’s experiences and beliefs are unique, and there is no one definitive answer to this question. Ultimately, it is up to each individual to determine what they believe about twin flames and whether or not they believe they are meant to be together.”

So if we are to discuss a belief system, we need clear definitions. Let’s begin by unwrapping the concepts of twin flame and meant to be together. We will look at two major definitions of what a twin flame is, and what a twin flame relationship is supposed to look like.

Twin Flame as a Perfect Partner

The first concept of a twin flame would simply be another term for a perfect partner. I can say, I married someone I love, or instead be more in tune with the times and say, I found my twin flame. From this perspective, meeting your twin flame will often feel like life finally falling into place. There is a sense of completion, perfection, and, if one is more spiritually inclined, a feeling of having known each other for lifetimes.

Twin flames support and care for one another, they know each other in the deepest sense of the word, finish each other’s sentences and build a happy life together. They are like two halves fitting together in the sense that they complement each other — where one is more inward, the other is more outward, where one is silent, the other speaks, where one falls, the other has strength to pick the partner up. Are such relationships possible? Of course they are, and they exist everywhere!

In this sense, meeting your twin flame is indeed meeting your “other half” (whatever that may mean). It is meeting someone you are meant to be with. It is meeting someone who wants to unite their life to yours. Moreover, all forms of emotional manipulation, hiding, avoiding, aberrant behavior that indicates severe childhood trauma — all would mean this is not a twin flame. Not a partner who is able to live with you for the rest of their lives and build a family.

In the old days, and up to this day in some cultures, such a perfect partner would sometimes be selected by parents or elders, in other words, people with experience. Often, they would base their decisions on astrological data, such as chart compatibility, on spiritual compatibility, and of course, on due diligence. A nobleman’s daughter would be unlikely to marry a garbage collector or a fisherman. But love, at least love that would last a lifetime, is in this context also understood as a choice, and not merely a feeling. Twin flame or not, feelings alone won’t always keep a family together.

Twin Flame as a Divine Mirror of the Soul

Wait a minute, you may say. What about all these people who say that twin flame relationships are an insane ride, opening your chakras, remembering your past lives, having spiritual realizations, reaching mystical union? The tragic, dysfunctional, impossible, crazy relationships that make you a poet and an adventurer, that open up the hidden closets of your soul and make you burn in the fire of love — what about those? Aren’t those the real twin flames?

In our society, women no longer need to be dependent on men for financial support. Not everyone chooses to have children, or even wants to get married. There are many advanced souls on the planet now whose main priority is spiritual development and purification, and who have very limited understanding of traditional social conventions. But in truth, the impossible love that was able to move mountains and make poets out of philosophers has always existed on our planet.

It has nothing to do with social change or evolving definitions of family, although those certainly contribute to the overall picture. But this Love teaches us about the heart of God, this love re-ignites the Divine spark within us and turns the whole world into a magic song, where chakras do indeed open and past lives become real.

It is the love of Orpheus and Eurydice, Majnun and Leila, Heloise and Abelard, Oscar Wilde and Lord Alfred Douglas, Tristan and Isolde, Yeshua and Mary, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, Dante and Beatrice. It is sometimes the platonic love of a master and a student, sometimes an erotic passion that knows no boundaries, and sometimes a completely imaginary love that is the only way for the Lover to tangibly learn to love God.

This form of love is often ill-fated and does not conform to societal definitions. It brings the Lover into the very heart of the Creation. It shows, in a very tangible and perceptible way, that Love is the force that runs through the whole universe, that it is the Source of all visible manifestation. This Love points to a reality beyond one’s personality, and any attempts to chain or define this raw force of Love lead to disaster.

This warrants the million-dollar question:

In this context, are twin flames meant to be together?

The Danger of Conflating Definitions

Imagine the scenario where you fall madly, soul-crushingly, head over heels in love. You may be a girl from an educated family who hears a gangster play the guitar and runs away from home to join him. Someone very rational who falls in love with an unstable and emotionally unavailable person. Or a professor in a university who moves to a village in a jungle to be with his beloved. You may be in love with a rock star — why not? Or your cousin, or someone 30 years younger than yourself. Or in love with what seems like an imaginary friend from your dreams.

And now imagine someone tells you that person, or that imaginary being, is your twin flame.

Which of the definitions above first springs to your mind?

Being human, wouldn’t you want it to be the first one?

I can’t imagine anyone saying they don’t want to be with their Beloved. That is the whole nature of love — to want to be together at all times, to stare into their eyes for all eternity, to share every moment, good or bad. Love does not see flaws or imperfections, it sees the beauty in everyone, even the most “unsuitable” candidate for marriage or a “normal” relationship. Love does not classify or put into boxes. The Beauty stays with the Beast out of Love. Only the eyes of love can see with the eyes of God.

Love is love, as they say. But whether we are meant to be together is another question. If we conflate the concepts of twin flames as an expression of Divine Love and twin flames as a perfect romantic partner, we are inevitably setting ourselves up for disaster.

There is nothing wrong with having a perfect romantic partner, by the way! Soul evolution and template clearing aside, we are made for relationships and romance. There are no “higher” loves. Being happily married is not “lower” than suffering with a narcissist because someone told you he was your twin flame. Just as calling your spouse a twin flame does not make your marriage more evolved.

There are no “higher” loves. Being happily married is not “lower” than suffering with a narcissist because someone told you he was your twin flame.

If you wish to call your relationship a twin flame connection, that is perfectly fine. And if you want to call it a soulmate connection, that is fine, too. Call it whatever you like! If you are longing for love, that is perfectly human. It only shows you have a big heart that calls you beyond the limitations of this world, into the magic of the Real. You heart is calling you to connect with the Divine.

What you might want to avoid, however, is conflating the experience of the Divine with clinging to a relationship no matter what. No, you are not meant to be together with someone who shows you all the vastness of your heart! You may end up in a relationship — or you may not. But merely the fact of love and longing unlike any other you experienced does not say anything about having to be in a relationship. It is your soul calling to you. It has nothing to do with the person whom you now see as other than yourself.

To Be or Not to Be — Are Twin Flames Meant to Be Together, After All?

If you are madly in love with someone who doesn’t love you and doesn’t want to talk to you — you are not meant to be together. Not now, anyway. If they see their mistake and come back after 10 years, wonderful! But they may never come back. Even if you do all the twin flame work in the world to bring them back. And if someone abuses you, cheats on you, steals from you, doesn’t respect your boundaries or your feelings — you are not meant to be together.

Your love for them is noble and real and pure and it opens your chakras and psychic gifts and teaches you about God — but you are not meant to be together.

Not now, anyway. And the thing is, all you have is now. If you don’t put your foot down now, in hope of this relationship working out in 10 years, because surely if we’re twin flames, we are meant to be together, so it will somehow get better in 10 years — well… you will suffer for 10 years. Nothing will change. Because when you are called to Divine Love, nothing is meant to be. Your lesson is to break your heart open and learn to walk in trust. Not to tolerate abuse in the name of twin flames.

Your love is pure, as love aways is. But sometimes love shows you where you need to heal, more than anything else. Why? It may be because you are more sensitive than others, or because you connected to very heavy ancestral templates. It may be that your love points you to a childhood trauma that you need to heal, or a call to reach Divine Union in this lifetime.

You can give your love any name you want. Just don’t let calling someone a “twin flame” allow abuse in your life. And the sooner you put your foot down and allow joy into your life, the sooner the healing will begin.